Good news to report…
First, I did not need to call Zach today to report “code red” (if you don’t know what I mean by this, please see previous two blogs).
Second, I am as BLOATED as an African Bullfrog (if you don’t know what this is, you can see one in the reptile exhibit at the Jacksonville Zoo). I figure that this is the only time in my life when being BLOATED is a good thing. When Zach arrived home from work today, I showed him my big ole’ swollen belly, but told him not to get his hopes up. His response was, “Okay, when have you ever been that bloated?” The answer, which of course he knew, is right after we found out that I was pregnant with Ella Rose.
Third, I am a citrus-consuming machine. Over the past week, I have consumed an average of two grapefruits per day, gallons of lime-infused water (ran out of lime today, so switched to lemon juice), and one orange. Now, I may be crazy and simply doing this out of superstition since this is what I did prior to learning that I was pregnant with Ella Rose. Or, maybe, just maybe…. My body is wanting these vitamins and extra water because I have a little blastocyst who needs this right now… I can only hope the latter is the case.
So, do we have high hopes given the above? Let’s just say that Zach looked at me during dinner tonight and said, “I think you’re pregnant.” Oh, I hope he is right!!!
Fourth, as you can see by the above, my writer’s block is gone.
In today’s blog, I would like introduce you to guest writer, Ann Lander’s granddaughter, Alice. Alice has her grandmother’s knack for addressing matters of social appropriateness. However, Alice is a member of the Infertility Treatment Club, and she realizes that there is a need to address how the general public should interact with individuals who are struggling or have struggled with infertility. Alice will kindly respond to some questions from this blog’s readers.
Question 1: Hi, my sister is going through infertility treatment. I am afraid to ask how things are going? I want to be there for her, but I also want to avoid probing into her personal business. –Sally, Texas
Now, would be a good time to remind your sister that you care about her. Without asking questions, you can simply tell her that you love her and are there for her if she ever wants to talk. Since infertility treatment can be extremely stressful, you could also make your sister smile and let her know that you care by sending her a thoughtful note or gift (like flowers or a picture of you two when you were kids) or offer to take her out to lunch. Your sister will greatly appreciate you for these acts of kindness and love.
Question 2: Whenever I see someone with multiples, I am curious if they were the product of infertility treatment? Is it inappropriate to ask someone this? –Nancy, WA
The clear and simple answer is YES. Instead of asking such a question, it would be better to remark how cute the children are. If someone wants to share this information with you, she will.
Question 3: I am going through infertility treatment. Every time I walk into the waiting room of the doctor’s office, I see lots of unhappy women. I would like to meet other women who are going through what I am, should I try to strike up a conversation in this setting. –Debra, GA
First of all, I wish you success in your treatment. Second, it is natural that you would want to meet other women who are traveling this same path and likely experiencing much of what you are. However, I think it would be good to respect the individuals in the waiting room who are likely coming to terms with their infertility and processing everything that is going on in their lives. If someone is looking down or not making eye contact with you, then I would respect her desire for privacy. If someone, however, indicates that she may want to converse with you by making eye contact and smiling, then I would say go ahead and initiate a conversation. Also, you may want to consider joining a support group. You can go to this website and look for support groups in your area: www.resolve.org You can also ask your infertility specialist if support services are offered through their practice.
Question 4: Hello, my friend and her husband just completed their first round of IVF after two years of trying other infertility treatments. Whenever my friend tells me about her negative test results, I get flustered and just don’t know the best way to respond. If their latest attempt is unsuccessful, how should I respond? -Frieda, CA
First of all, I’m sure that we are both hoping you don’t have to worry about responding to the news of a negative result. Hopefully, you will soon be saying a resounding, “Congratulations!” and devoting your attention to supporting your friend through her first pregnancy. However, if this is not the case, then the best way of responding to your friend is first by a heartfelt embrace. Then, tell your friend how much you admire her for her strength and courage. Tell her that she is amazing, and the negative news just SUCKS! Then, you may want to repeat this several times. Don’t feel like you need to talk here. Leave the door open for your friend to talk if she wants and be a good listener.
[Okay, just so no one sues me or accuses me of posting false information on my blog, to my knowledge, Alice does not exist and I have no idea if Ann Landers has children or grandchildren for that matter…. And, if they do – I hope that they are all very fertile. Alice’s responses are actually my responses. Also, no blog readers sent in questions and I didn’t ask them to do so. Last, the questions came from my head, which made it very easy to respond to them. :)]